jeremy clarkson reviews the new land rover discovery..(’very popular with murderers..’..)
“..I don’t understand the Land Rover Discovery.
It’s like torque and electricity and Peter Mandelson.
We know it exists and we know what it does.
But we can’t explain it very easily.
In the olden days, it made sense.
There was a big hole between the utilitarian, bring-your-own-earplugs Defender and the Range Rover, which had gone all Surrey, with fancy carpets and seats smothered in cow peelings.
In other words, there was no car in the Land Rover line-up for the true countryman, who wanted one car to take his cows to market and his family to the pub.
The Discovery filled that hole nicely and, as a result, became very popular with murderers.
Occasionally the Disco was bought by a farmer’s wife but mostly it was bought by people who like complicated guns and camouflage trousers.
These people label themselves “off-road enthusiasts” and “green-laners” ..
.. but it’s all just a front for murdering.
Why does anyone need camouflage trousers?
It’s because they want to hide from the police in the woods.
And why do they have a Discovery?
Because a Discovery can get very far into those woods, which means bodies can be buried in places where they won’t be found by pesky dog-walkers.
You may wonder why they chose a Discovery rather than, say, a Toyota Land Cruiser, but that’s because you’re not paying attention.
Like murderers in hillbilly America, “off-road enthusiasts” are practical people who enjoy mending engines and gearboxes.
A Land Cruiser never goes wrong .. and, as a result, provides no opportunity for tinkering.
And, again, like the American backwoodsman, the British rural murderer is a fiercely patriotic soul who shoots squirrels and badgers simply to prepare for the day when he is called upon to kill communists and immigrants.
Furthermore, if he had a Toyota he wouldn’t be able to get as far into the woods ..
.. so his bodies would be discovered .. and there’d be much unpleasantness.
You think this is nonsense?
Really?
Well, next time you are in the British countryside, look carefully at the person driving along in an old Land Rover Discovery ..
.. and ask yourself a simple question.
Would you let him take your daughter for a picnic? ..”
go to source/story>>Jeremy Clarkson Land Rover Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE review | Driving - Times Online