“..Itâ€™s been a long, hot summer of sex scandals and musings on the pleasures and confines of life-long monogamous partnerships..
.. so it seems now is as good a time as any to investigate those who consciously choose to subvert the whole mess.
Yes, weâ€™re talking about the polyamorists — those darlings of â€˜60s communes, â€˜70s swinger parties, and â€˜90s gender studies departments —
– freshly discovered in a Newsweek cover story by reporter Jessica Bennett .. that has become the magazineâ€™s most e-mailed story of the week.
The difference between a polyamorist and a powerful guy who has a wife and keeps a mistress may be as simple as this:..
.. The polyamorist is doing so with the full consent of all partners involved.
Although Newsweek often canâ€™t resist loading up their trend stories with a heavy dose of sensationalism..
.. Bennett actually does a pretty good job of presenting a mostly fair, respectful portrait of a poly family, with no visible snickering.
Terisa, Scott and Larry have lived together in â€œethical non-monogamyâ€ for more than a decade — longer than some marriages — with Terisa as the â€œveeâ€ of the â€œtriadâ€ (i.e., she is involved with both men, who do not sleep with each other);..
.. recently they have added Vera and Matt, a couple they met on Facebook, who spend weekends with the family (Vera usually with Larry; Matt usually with Terisa, though they sometimes switch up; Scott is casually dating a woman on the side).
The thing that wigs most practicing monogamists out about polyamory is the jealousy factor: ..
.. How does one deal with not only knowing who oneâ€™s partner is sleeping with, but, as happens sometimes even in the triad described in this article..
.. actually overhearing sex happening in the next bedroom in your shared home?
â€œI like to call it polyagony,â€ says Ken Haslam, who curates a polyamory library at the Kinsey Instititute and is himself polyamorous.
â€œIt works for some perfectly and for others itâ€™s a f-king disaster.â€
But when it does work, says Terisa, thereâ€™s a ton of talking involved.
â€œItâ€™s about making sure that everybodyâ€™s needs are met, including your own.
And thatâ€™s not always easy, but itâ€™s part of the fun.â€
go to source/story>>People who love (multiple) people – Broadsheet – Salon.com