“..People who love (multiple) people..”

“..It’s been a long, hot summer of sex scandals and musings on the pleasures and confines of life-long monogamous partnerships..

.. so it seems now is as good a time as any to investigate those who consciously choose to subvert the whole mess.

Yes, we’re talking about the polyamorists — those darlings of ‘60s communes, ‘70s swinger parties, and ‘90s gender studies departments —

– freshly discovered in a Newsweek cover story by reporter Jessica Bennett .. that has become the magazine’s most e-mailed story of the week.

The difference between a polyamorist and a powerful guy who has a wife and keeps a mistress may be as simple as this:..

.. The polyamorist is doing so with the full consent of all partners involved.

Although Newsweek often can’t resist loading up their trend stories with a heavy dose of sensationalism..

.. Bennett actually does a pretty good job of presenting a mostly fair, respectful portrait of a poly family, with no visible snickering.

Terisa, Scott and Larry have lived together in “ethical non-monogamy” for more than a decade — longer than some marriages — with Terisa as the “vee” of the “triad” (i.e., she is involved with both men, who do not sleep with each other);..

.. recently they have added Vera and Matt, a couple they met on Facebook, who spend weekends with the family (Vera usually with Larry; Matt usually with Terisa, though they sometimes switch up; Scott is casually dating a woman on the side).

The thing that wigs most practicing monogamists out about polyamory is the jealousy factor: ..

.. How does one deal with not only knowing who one’s partner is sleeping with, but, as happens sometimes even in the triad described in this article..

.. actually overhearing sex happening in the next bedroom in your shared home?

“I like to call it polyagony,” says Ken Haslam, who curates a polyamory library at the Kinsey Instititute and is himself polyamorous.

“It works for some perfectly and for others it’s a f-king disaster.”

But when it does work, says Terisa, there’s a ton of talking involved.

“It’s about making sure that everybody’s needs are met, including your own.

And that’s not always easy, but it’s part of the fun.”

go to source/story>>People who love (multiple) people – Broadsheet – Salon.com

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